By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag.com
@JeffMossDSR
June 5, 2013
It would appear that Detroit’s poor excuse for a “sports station” on the radio has now upped the ante in the ongoing battle to see which media outlet in the Motor City will be the cause of my massive heart attack.
In an attempt to generate more traffic to the station’s atrocious website, CBS Radio this week added Ashley Dunkak to its impressive stable of bloggers which includes chromosome deficient inbreds like Jeff Riger and Eric Thomas.
When Jamie Samuelsen trumpeted the new hire, I jokingly Tweeted out, “Fresh Meat,” not knowing that this woman might be the biggest abomination “The Ticket” has exposed to mankind.
In her first “article” for WXYT’s website, Dunkak picked the subject of the Detroit Lions and head coach Jim Schwartz’s job status in the context of recent Bill Ford’s comments. Forgetting for the fact how awful this puff piece was when considering the team has won one playoff game in 55 years, this person couldn’t even get simple facts correct.
In Dunkak’s original posting she wrote …
“Even in the context of three straight losing seasons for the Lions, Ford expressed confidence in coach Jim Schwartz and the people with who Schwartz has surrounded himself.”
Three straight losing seasons? THREE STRAIGHT LOSING SEASONS? Like, the Lions haven’t had many winning seasons in the past decade that it is so difficult to categorize. By my count they have had one. In 2011. When they made the FUCKING PLAYOFFS, ya dingbat™ (Jean Stapleton RIP.)
And that was their first postseason berth since the Year 2000. This is not difficult math like counting Scott Anderson’s chins.
I mean, how do you get that WRONG unless you are a total know nothing? Anyway, I Tweeted out what an abortion she was and within minutes the correction had been made. Did I get a thank you from her? NOPE, instead I got Bruce Villanch to “block”, John.
And if you think her debut was horrible it was nothing compared to her follow-up article regarding Grant Hill titled, “Did ‘Relentless Competitor’ Grant Hill Leave Pistons A Parting Gift?”
Yes, Grant Hill left a parting gift for the Pistons when he backstabbed the franchise by signing in Orlando. A big steaming pile of shit. This dumbshit actually thinks that Grant Hill was trying to HELP the Pistons by leaving. No, seriously. Read this …..
Hill left the Pistons in 2000, after six years with the team. He was an unrestricted free agent, so he could have left Detroit with zero reimbursement – no more marquee player, no compensation to go try to find another one. Instead, Hill agreed to a sign-and-trade agreement (reportedly for slightly more money) that allowed the Pistons to acquire Ben Wallace, who was instrumental in the team’s championship a few years later.
Are you a child, Ashley? Or just a fucking simpleton? Grant Hill agreed to a sign-and-trade because it was financially BENEFICIAL to him. That’s it. He wasn’t trying to help anyone, but his agent’s pocketbook.
This twat actually had the unmitigated gall to minimize Hill’s financial incentive by labeling it “slightly more money.” Oh, really? Read this from a July 5, 2000 report regarding the difference in salary:
The Magic are offering Hill and free agent forward Tim Duncan six-year deals worth $67.5 million, the most allowed under the collective bargaining agreement. They can get seven-year, $86.5 million contracts if the Magic and their current teams agree to sign-and-trade proposals.
$19 million guaranteed difference? Well, what’s $19 million between friends? Oh, do you think that extra season and $19 million difference was a little HUGE due to Hill’s subsequent injury issues?!?!?!?!
(Editor’s Note: After this article was originally posted, fellow DSR correspondent Justin Spiro made an excellent point. Not only was there a $19 million difference in salary, Hill didn’t have to pay a state income tax in Florida. He obviously would have in Michigan.)
SLIGHTLY MORE MONEY?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
And does this partial birth abortion believe that Ben Wallace was a superstar in 2000? When Big Ben averaged 4.8 points and 8.2 rebounds per game? Hell, Joe Dumars didn’t even want Wallace, he wanted John Amaechi for Christ’s sake.
This type of revisionist history makes Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s claims that the Holocaust didn’t occur look tame.
But, what can you expect from Dunkak? This is a person who titled her blog, “The Fabulous Sports Babe.” Like, are you that oblivious to the world that you weren’t aware there was someone already named the “Fabulous Sports Babe?????”
In unrelated news, I am changing the name of the DSR to “The Boston Sports Guy.” That’s available, right?
And I love her sources for the article. Terry Foster and former NBA scrub Steve Henson. She interviewed idiot Foster because he is now a co-worker.
Henson? He went to Kansas State. The same college that Dunkak attended. How fucking lazy.
That would be like me getting quotes from my wife Melissa and dog Chili for this article.
“Do you really have to call her a twat in this column?,” said Melissa Moss.
And if she actually interviewed Dumars for this piece, why didn’t she ask Joe D. if Hill was trying to HELP the Pistons by leaving him high-and-dry. If he was assisting Dumars why didn’t Hill answer Joe’s phone calls to see what was up? If Hill was being magnanimous, why did it take a chance meeting with Bob Wojnowski on a plane ride back from Orlando for the story to come out that Hill was jetting Auburn Hills?
I can’t believe I am even having this discussion 13 years later.
So who gave us this latest 97.1 gift? Based on Twitter, it would appear that Dunkak was hired by Christy Strawser, the digital content director of CBS Radio.
So Christy, what are the rest of your plans for Gotham now that you have fiendishly given this ignoramus a platform?
Some digital content directors aren’t looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some digital content directors just want to watch the world burn.
Of course, there is another theory being promoted by DSR co-founder Gregg Schultz regarding this latest WXYT travesty.
He doesn’t think there is an actual Ashley Dunkak. He thinks it is a creation of the people at 97.1 to put the final nail in my coffin. Invent a fake persona to write an article a day until Moss’s heart implodes.
We will know within days if “Dunkak” writes an article wishing AIDS on Barry Sanders and Sergei Fedorov or pens a piece calling William Clay Ford, Sr. one of the best owners in professional sports history.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again …….
(You can follow Jeff Moss on Twitter at @JeffMossDSR. Join the discussion on Facebook at here.)